I've thought about what's been said. I've looked further into what it is I'm doing.

Nothing. That's what I've found. There's nothing there, nothing I can take, and say that yes! This is everything you need and the reason behind everything. The person behind everything. I wish I could, it would be a more satisfying departure. But sometimes you just have to leave things as they are.

There's more important things out there that require my time.

I'm on the wrong side. I never did it for the money, I never do. The more I got into this case, the more things went on, I noticed, that it became impossible. It's people gathering to fight for what they want. Something they believe in, and where do I get off trying to step in between them and saying they have to stop? Whilst I sit here and have what they want, playing in the background?

I'm done. Everything is packed up and we'll be gone. The police know they no longer have my help.

Hei, I'm incredibly sorry.

Lavi, I'm sorry aswell and I hope you can accept my apology. I never meant to cause you any harm. Congratulations to you and Kanda-san. Everything has been taken out your apartment and the devices have been inactivated. Kanda-san is no longer in any danger and I hope you can forgive for ever causing you so much grief.

I'm finding it near impossible to find out anything new. I have a new connection I feel will work well for a short time. I don't want to be spending the majority of my time on this case. It's like I'm going in circles. Though that explosion has grabbed my interest. -Sigh.-

I thought a city with a ban would prove to be a little more interesting that it's showen itself to be. I guess I was wrong.

I'm not even sure where I'm going with this. If someone would just slip up, I'll be able to see everything. Of course, in order for anything to happen after that, I'll have to have evidence. Would there really be anything? It's not entirely life-threatening. Yes, there have now ben deaths, but that's due to the idiotic acts of some individuals.

I forget this thing more and more these days. It's just not terribley high on the agenda I'm afraid. Not that I have anything exciting to say.

Once again Watari has pulled me away from my work and here I am, keeping tabs in England. It is good to see Roger again though. Nothing can beat the tea here. Though there's compitition.

The weather is surprisingly hot. Though much to the surprise of some younger children, I haven't swapped my wardrobe for lighter less covering clothes. Why bother? Though I was shocked to find a few that enjoyed tennis.

They still have a way to go.

I'm more than a little worried right now. I was lightly commenting to someone and they called me L. I know I gave nothing away. But it startled me. Maybe I went to far when mentioning research. It appears she didn't mean it. But all the same, perhaps I should change how I am a little when talking to others. Especially if I'm to get any more information.

I have to be more careful. What a stupid mistake.

Hm, I swear I had posted here before. Apologies to anyone that actually reads this. A month is certainly too long to go without an update, right? Unfortunately...nothing has really happened in the past month. As sad as it sounds, it's true.

Hm..Let's see. School has finished, so I don't have anything to do really. Research is still ongoing, but one particular case is rather...well I'm losing more interest as the months go by. That's not like me, I always see things right to the end. But...But this just isn't happening.

I took a trip to America again.

Did anyone hear about the serial killer in Texas? It was all over the news when I was there. I'm a little pleased that nothing like this is occuring back home. Fortunately though, he was caught. How scary.

Meringue...I've just had a bit...and there's somemore left in the fridge. It's got whipped cream and raspberries on it. I'm really tempted to take the last bit. It's soft, but has some chew in it~~~ It's the perfect sweetness~ And the raspberries just add to everything.

........I'm giving into temptation and having that last piece. >__>

Watari turned my attention to the news, a bombing at a school? I'm happy to hear there were no deaths.

It's awful news, who ever is behind such an atrocious act will definately be brought to justice. If not, then I fear for justice in this world. Deaths or no deaths, to attack a place with our future, and the innoncence...Ugh. The one behind this obviously has no conscious.



((OOC : Sorry for any obvious typos, Vincent-muse is making me so tired XD))

I keep forgetting about this thing.

[Not viewable to P-M U/H]

Why are things so quiet?

This proving my most difficult case.

So stupid.

-Sigh.- My stomach hurts right now.

You know, part of me misses Wammy's. When I was there...It was different. I don't know, maybe because I was young? But I also miss L.A. I don't know why, nothing good happened there. I suppose because...I may have had a little fun? -Shrug.-

I...I sort of wish I had a normal life.

But I'll never give this up! Not until the day I die.

I just...miss my parents. Even though I don't remember them at all. I...I must have been one or two...

I'm getting coffee.

I've been ignoring this thing too much. Been over a month. Not like anyone reads it anyway.

I was attacked in class by some girls that weren't in my class...They put pink ribbons in my hair and painted my nails. -Sigh- Like the class don't think I'm a freak as it is. -Shrug.- Most of the class failed the test. A test based on the start of the year. BASIC stuff.

People's intellegence is worrying.

How rather unexpected. One day he was there, the next he was gone. Part of me was hoping that...well maybe he was just ill. But it's been a month now, and he's not answering his phone. I don't think he would have backed down, not that we had anything. It was more like a game that we played. Maybe I was getting too close to finding out his secret. But sometimes I can't help but dig further. It's like a natural instinct.
Watari's been worried because I've looed so depressed really. I never should have let my feelings come into this. I never should have allowed myself to feel anything. This has never happened before. It almost hurts. Like I've lost someone close to me. I know that he's alive. He's too damn smart to get himself killed, but sometimes...Sometimes I find myself worrying about it.

Anyway I better go.

Turns out I have a stomach virus. Which would explain why I can't keep anything I eat down. I'm really short-tempered right now as well, and the cramps are stopping me from getting any sleep. What sleep I do get, I need. Got a course of antibiotics. But they seem to make it worse, all I'm doing is an hour after taking them, throwing up!

The sight of food is enough to make my stomach churn. So there's nothing lying around for me to see. I've lost a few pounds aswell from this!

[Private - Only viewable to those that know him as L]

Everything seems to be quiet. I know there have been a few raids here and there. But the results aren't very promising. Nor are they good enough. It's so quiet, that I have the feeling something big is going to happen. I don't know what, but I sense this is the calm before the storm.

I know I'll need more help. There's certain things I can't risk doing in person.

These people are smarter than I first thought them to be. Seems they're burying deeper underground.

Hei, if things get any worse, I have a feeling we may need to meet. In person.

Today to get to class...I flew a helicopter. Simply because I can't drive.

In class, I got bored teaching, so closed my eyes and solved the rubics cube, with it behind my back. Beat my record. This time it took 17 seconds. That's a 13.8% improvement.

My feet are cold, and I'm not looking forward to classes starting again.

Though I did have a fun phone call last night. And made a promise I know I can't keep. Well I could, but I don't really want to. Too busy, got a schedule to make up again...but....then I kind of do want to go...hm...

[Private]

o__o I had no idea I was capible of doing that...

Mental note : Do it more often >DD

[Public]

I hate public transport. How do you people do it?

So I had Mello over for Christmas, that was fun. I should really call Roger and thank him for the tea, and tea set...My one was getting a little old. But this one is perfect! And the tea is good too!

Watari got me my favourite cakes from all over aswell! Does he want me to get fat? Can't resist though!

Watari liked his gift aswell. A two week vacation to England. He deserves it.

Christmas, all I hear is people talking about it. All I see is banners everywhere about it. Sales and shopping. I'm not a scrooge, I just...never really got excited at this time of year. Though Watari has set up a tree in the apartment. And I have to admit it does look pretty good. There's already presents under it. One for me and one for Watari from Roger. And one to me from Watari and Watari has one from me. Watari also has gifts from family. Roger sent them here. So it'll just be like last year, only in Japan once again. I don't know why, I prefer it here than I did in America. I think the busy streets and noise scared me.

I walked into the classroom and nearly had to dive in. Mistletoe above the door. I have to inch past it and everything. Some of my students seem to like it though. They seem like the kind it would. Any excuse to grab at each other. I have the doctors tomorrow morning before class starts. There always seems to be something wrong with me. I'm only going because Watari says it needs to be checked out.

I had a dream lastnight. One of those memory ones. Where you re-live something that's already happened. I felt ashamed when I woke up, and part of me felt a little sick. But then, I also felt extremely good aswell...

If my phone was a dog, I'm sure it'd be begging and whining right now. But I won't, not yet anyway. Despite the slight feeling inside that I really want to.

But I have too much to do. I'm too busy.

Things are going so slow that I'm getting even more annoyed. I just want everything to take off because...Because it'll be such a major sucess and I know I'm right. There's no way he could be alone in this. He can't be the only one, and I have a feeling that my fingertips are just brushing at the surface. And when it breaks, everything is going to open up and be so much easier. Whether people say no or not.

[Private]

I have methods to make them talk. And they won'tget away. I've been busting my ass off too much. putting myself in daner. People aren't stupid, and I'm sure many know that something is going on. Otherwise, why would they be so secretive?

And then there's Light. I'll get him to admit it. I can't play the same with him as I did with Lavi. Light already knows what side I stand on. Already knows I've tried to catch him out. It's so difficult, when the next step in this, all revolves around one guy.

I need to talk to Lavi again. -Sigh-

Friday at work...was one of the best days. Not the classes or the students. But at lunch time, me and Watari went to a candy store, and I bought so much. Even stuff I'd never tried before. Peanut brittle is so good! Glad I don't have a nut allergy. Because I bought a lot of it.

But everything went by so fast afterwards. I was on a complete sugar high. Aah, I felt so good! And when I got home...I made dinner! I haven't made anything in a while, usually it's takeout or Watari's cooking. So a three course meal was created! Watari's favourite soup with rolls. Homemade Shepard's pie with mashed potatoes and gravy. For dessert was sorbet. Not home made.

These milkshake bottle candy things are so good! Sickening, but good.

Yes, I still have stuff.

Weekend was pretty dull.

[Private]

I'm getting a little irritated with this whole Kira thing. Not just the Kira thing, but my whole investigation has just come to a stop. I'm not getting anywhere really. Well...Working on Lavi. Have a few plans, just need to get them in motion. Need to talk to Mello. Need to find Mello first. He hasn't been to class, so I haven't been able to talk to him. And I can't get through on his cellphone. This is why I shouldn't accept any help.

Okay, next time I see Lavi, I'll set things into motion, if it fails, I have a plan B...It's weak, so I hope A works.

...I think I like someone.

[Private]

Last night Light called me randomly. He needed help with Psychology homework...which was very surprising as he's one of my best students. But I was willing to help him. Watari dropped me off at his place. It's so small in comparison to mine. Dorm rooms are really that small? So at first it started with me helping him out with Quantitative psychology. I know I'm moving the whole class pretty fast, but I can't help it. Any way...it was all fine but then Light kind of...well got a little close. And...Oh God, why am I writing this? We uh...had sex again. I know I shouldn't because he's a student and everything but...he makes me feel good, and I don't feel like an outcast. Like the classroom, only better.